Sunday, November 13, 2005

The Last Battle: Part 4, Draft 1

Up until now, I've been posting the parts as full scenes. But this one is on the long side, so I'll divide it into at least two so you'll have something to read sooner.

The Great Feast finally comes and Kata actually gets to relax and enjoy herself. This part mostly sets the stage; Part 5 will introduce two characters. One is completely new, one you've met before, though not if you're going chronologically.


"Everything is completely ready for tomorrow," said Elgon, the knight in charge of organizing the preparations for the Great Feast, the night before it was to happen. He said this every year. It was never true.

The next day, as the squires were at last becoming full fledged knights, the knights organizing the Great Feast were scrambling to fix everything that had gone wrong. A tent had fallen over during the night. One of the main streets leading to the feast grounds didn't have proper lighting. One of the pie recipes, accounting for roughly 70 pies, hadn't come out to the master chef's standards. The tumbler who was second from the right in the base of the human pyramid needed medication for the dizzy spells he was having. And everyone, from the captain of the castle guards to the barker for the dunking booth to the curious tourist, had last minute questions.

As she had on the days before, Kata happily threw herself into the work. She pounded the tent stakes back into more solid ground and made sure the ropes were well secured. She rushed ingredients for the replacement pies into the kitchens. She escorted the healers to where the ailing tumbler was staying. She answered questions ranging from simple directions to running through the whole schedule of events for the night.

And somehow, it all came together, as it did every year. By sunset, the great hall and castle grounds were a mass of people, with still more arriving all the time. Much of the entertainment was already in full swing. The juggler and stilt-walkers and stilt-walking jugglers were moving through the crowds, often with a small devoted audience trailing behind them. The musicians were mostly warming up. They would be playing once the actual feast began. The attractions and merchant's booths were set up, though they did most of their business after the food had been served.

When the incoming crowds had thinned to infrequent groups of a few people, the castle's bell rang three times to call everyone to the banquet tables. Kata took her seat with the other knights who had been on the Feast organizing committee. Elgon gave a brief speech outlining the trials and triumphs of putting this year's feast together as the drinks were brought out. Enthusiastic toasts were made all around and the whole table needed refills by the time to the food was served.

As many people did on the day of the feast, Kata had purposefully eaten very little. Course after course of delicious roasts, soups, salads, breads, and of course, pies came one after the other and everyone wanted to try nearly everything. The feast organizers' table seemed to get special attention, possibly due to how well they'd done in keeping the kitchen stocked for the event. No other tables were ignored, but a call for more bread or another ale from the organizers' table always seemed to get answered first.

After her third slice of pie, Kata decided that she needed to get up for a walk. The few knights left at the table, gave her a final congratulations on her hard work, then went back to singing along with the musicians in a lively round.

By now the moon was out and the numerous torches Kata and her friends had set up were blazing away. Many people were leaving the banquet tables and the booths around the castle grounds were in full swing. Some were selling scarves, feathers, and various small trinkets as favors to give to a departing knight. Some sold jewelry and other little gifts that young knights typically gave to their sweethearts before the Sending. There were wooden swords and shields, toy knights, the dunking booth, a puppet show, all kinds of treats from various parts of the kingdom for anyone who actually had room for more food, and a variety of other attractions. The fire eaters were attracting a large crowd right now, tossing sticks lit at both ends high into the air before swallowing the flames..

Kata took a seat at an abandoned table near the fire eaters' stage. She watched the crowds move around, marveling as she did every year at the variety of people who came out for the Great Feast. Kata especially liked watching the children. Some, mostly the ones who were just old enough to enjoy all the attractions, just ran around happily, burning through whatever spending money they had been given. Those who had a little more idea of what the feast was for gravitated toward the wooden swords and shields and staged play battles, usually supervised by a helpful knight to make sure no one got hurt. The young pages watched the squires with longing, just the way the squires looked at the new knights who had completed the initiation ceremony that day. Then there were the children who weren't interested in anything but being with their parents and the ones who were being taken back home in tears. Most people wouldn't have mentioned them in the same breath, but Kata saw them as the two experiences knights' families went through. Some knights remained at the castle until the Sending put them on assignment in their hometowns. Often, the families of these knights would make the trip to the capitol for the Great Feast. After the Sending, the knights and their families would return home together. On the other hand, some knights had family in the capitol. When the Sending came, they would be going far away for a long time. There were always some children who connected the Great Feast, fun as it was, with Mommy or Daddy going away and couldn't stay long without crying.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Alrighty, so the main thing I have to say about this section is its basically one long series of descriptions, which tends to get on my nerves a little. Its true that detail is good, of course, but the passage seems very 'and then this was happening, and then this was happening, and then this was happening." In the end, this leaves me asking "So?" I feel like despite all this activity described in it, nothings really happening.


Also, the first paragraph seems weird and detatched. Some guy we don't know makes a statement to nobody and then its the next day. I know what you're trying to set up with it, but I think you ither need to make it flow better or cut it out entirely.

Fianlly, I wouldn't say "Mommy and Daddy" in the last sentence. It strikes a more cutesey and personized tone then the rest of the passage.

trekker9er said...

I wouldn't cut this section out. I liked all the decription, it lets the reader experience the most important day in the year for a knight. A rewrite in a couple places might be in order though.

Sorry it's taken me *so* long to get around to reading and commenting. But I finally have time today to sit and chill and do things I've been wanting to.