Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Sea of Unicorns - Part One, First Draft

OK, time to get rolling. This is a story that's been bouncing around my head for quite some time. I just kind of remembered it recently and thought it might actually deserve writing. The title may well be temporary, as it doesn't make any sense until somewhere in the middle and it doesn't really click until very close to the end. Names may be changed as well. Feel free to comment and please, please ask me how I came up with the word "nunis". It's a good story, possibly even better than this one.

It was not a surprise when Brogal told me our two potential new allies were actually unicorns. I don't know that I would have guessed, but they were definitely unusual people. They weren't merely pale. Their skin and hair were both almost unnaturally white. Their ears were slightly pointed, though that could easily be mistaken for some elvish ancestry. Most telling, though you could easily miss it, was the light grey nunis on each of their foreheads marking where the horn would be. "Unicorns" might not have been my first guess, but it was not a shock.

"So what can they do for us?" I asked Brogal, stealing a cautious glance at the newcomers at the table across the room.

Brogal shrugged. "Healing, maybe. I hear they're damn good at healing, even when they're human."

He took a deep swig of his ale, using it as an excuse to lean back far and have a look himself.

"Hesker'll know soon enough," he added, setting the heavy stein back on the table.

"Any idea why they want to help us?" Even then, I had no illusions about the importance of our cause outside of our corner of the kingdom. Back then, a local lord making a grab for freemen's land was nothing unusual. The crown had little real power outside of the capitol. "Local disputes" were left to the disputing parties to fight out. Once the battles were over, the Royal Army showed up and laid down the law in favor of the winner.

"Not a one. We don't even know yet if they'll actually join, so let's not get too excited yet."

I nodded. Brogal went back to his drink and I tried not to look like I was eavesdropping. We had been holed up at the tavern ever since Hesker got word that two "interesting people" wanted to speak to him about joining the fight. It took several days to make certain it wasn't an ambush. Even then, we were taking a risk. The tavern was supposedly safe and well into free territory, but that could easily changed and staying in any place for too long was dangerous. Most of us were impatient to get back on the move. If Hesker was willing to stay at the tavern for as long as we had, he had to believe these unicorns would be able to help us.

Brogal jabbed at my shoulder with his stein. Hesker and the unicorns had left their table and were coming over to ours. Hesker seemed to be in good spirits and the unicorns were walking alongside him. It seemed all but certain that they would be joining our fight.

"Brogal. Lenna." Hesker kept his voice just a bit lower than normal, as he usually did when speaking to us in a public place like the tavern. "We're going to have new healers joining us.

He stepped back, turning to the man standing beside him.

"This is Greyen."

Greyen smiled and nodded at us. He was slender and stood just a little taller than Hesker. His hair was cut short and his eyes were too dark to be called any particular color. He was dressed in a fawn colored tunic and leggings, both covered with pouches of various sizes. This was typical of traveling healers who carried all their herbs, potions, and dressings with them. I glanced at his belt and noticed he didn't carry a weapon. Hesker would probably find him one soon, though I wasn't sure yet if he'd actually be going into battles with us.

"And this is Veres," Hesker added, indicating the woman.

Veres was smaller hat her husband, though no quite as thin. She had a thick tangle of white hair falling around her face in loose, uneven curls. She wore a plain dress, but of the deepest blue I had ever seen. I wondered how long Hesker would put up with her wearing something that stood out so much. The dress had no obvious pocket, so I guessed she must have left her supplies elsewhere. She grinned broadly at us and shook our hands, which was a bit of a surprise after Greyen's reserved greeting. Maybe we seemed a bit taken aback because she drew back a little and curtseyed. We smiled awkwardly and blushed. Few of the local women were so formal. If Veres noticed our embarrassment at all, she didn't show it.

"We need to get moving as soon as possible," Hesker said when the introductions were through. "we've stayed here too long as it is and we need to be getting back to the front."

"We'll just need time to get the rest of our things," Veres said. "And to say goodbye to Connor. He's been very kind to let us stay here." Greyen nodded in agreement.

"Meet us by the front door when you're ready," said Hesker. "Don't be too long."

Veres smiled and rushed back up the tavern stairs. Greyen followed her at a slower pace.

"You sure we can trust them?" Brogal whispered after they had gone.

Hesker nodded and motioned a barmaid over to order one last drink. "The main thing was making sure they were really unicorns before we met them. When I was young, we had one pass through our village. Luck thing too; my sister had broken her arm not two days earlier. Even when they're human, they're powerful healers. And they don't lie to you. They may keep a thing from you, but if you ask them an honest question, they'll answer you honest. Worst they'll do is says they can't tell you."

"Did they say why they're helping us?" I asked Hesker. He shook his head a little.

"I asked them," he replied. "And Veres just said it was the right thing to do. That's all I know and I didn't press it."

"He doesn't say much, does he?" Brogal noted, inclining his head towards the stairs.

"Veres talks a lot more," agreed Hesker, as the barmaid came by with his drink. "But Greyen'll talk if he has something to say. He's just not one to waste words."

We sat in silence for a while, possibly worried about wasting words ourselves. Brogal and Hesker finished their drinks while I kept an eye on the stairs. Finally, Hesker set his empty mug down.

"I'll go and pay Connor what we owe," he said, getting up from his seat. "You two make sure you're ready to leave."

Hesker headed over to the bar as we headed upstairs to finish packing for our journey.

4 comments:

trekker9er said...

Two things jump out at me.

1) It was a surprise to find out from the narration that Veres is Greyen's husband. How does anyone know that?

2) Is this scene supposed to be a flashback? For most of it the tense is past tense, typically that's how writing is even when the story is occuring in the present tense. "He sat down" instead of "He sits down." But then in the six paragraph you say "Back then" and "Even then" in reference to events going on at the time of the story. So now I'm confused as to the timing of the scene as compared with the narration.

Otherwise, nice work in describing the characters. So... how did you come up with the word nunis?

Sara said...

OK, I did post a response to this, but for some reason it didn't go through. Take two.

"Nunis" is a word I inadvertantly invented about 2 decades ago while watching "The Last Unicorn." If you haven't seen it but intend to (and it is on DVD), stop reading, because I'm gonna give away a rather major plot point. Anyway, there's a scene where Prince Lir and his father are talking about the strangers who are arriving or have just arrived (I forget which) at their castle. Lir comments on the strange young woman who is actually the unicorn in magical disguise. He says "She has a ..." And then thre was a word I didn't quite get. It sounded like "nunis." Now if you look at the design for the unicorn turned human, she has this starburst mark on her forehead which, when she was a unicorn, was at the base of her horn. I guessed that "nunis" was a word for that star marking. But I wasn't sure, so I asked my dad. Turns out the word was "newness" and Lir was just saying how different the girl looked from anyone he'd seen before.

Flash foreward roughly 20 years and I'm thinking my mishearing of the word "newness" would be a good word to use for this mark particular to unicorns in human form. I check the internet to make sure it didn't mean anything else. It doesn't, so there it be.

trekker9er said...

Nice.

Anonymous said...

I have to tell you, I am watching The Last Unicorn right now and that scene has just passed...and I also, always thought the word Lir says was "nunis"...I decided to go to the internet and find out what it meant and found this blog...So, thank you so much for clearing up an ancient mystery that has been bothering me for over 20 years!